WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE

This morning Sam was sorting through all the stuff that has accumulated in our ten-year-old car.  He came to me and asked if I had a large plastic container to put twist ties in to keep in the car.  I couldn't drop everything at that moment and find something for him, so he went in search and found a gallon jug that he proclaimed to be perfect.  Off he went.

As I was working away, the question occurred to me - why does he need a gallon jug of twist ties in the car?  So I went to where he was and said, "In 54 years of marriage, I don't remember ever needing to have one twist tie in a car, let alone a gallon of them."  Then I saw he was putting bungee cords in the jar.  I said, "Did you mean you wanted a jar for twist ties or bungee cords?"  "Bungee cords," he said.  "Then why did you say twist ties?" I asked.  Mumble, mumble, mumble came the response. 

And once again I said what I say every day:  "Do you ever listen to what you say?"

OH TO BE IN MICHIGAN NOW THAT SPRING IS HERE

Our weather forecast for the next week:

Today:  Cloudy, chance of rain and snow showers.  High of 40, low of 25.
Sunday:  Partly cloudy.  High of 47, low of 40.
Monday:  Mostly cloudy, chance of rain showers.  High of 58, low of 40.
Tuesday:  Mostly cloudy, chance of rain showers.  High of 52, low of 36.
Wednesday:  Mostly cloudy, chance of rain showers.  High of 49, low of 38.
Thursday:  Cloudy, rain showers likely.  High of 54, low of 32.
Friday:  Cloudy, rain showers likely.  High of 53, low of 38.

WORDS OF WISDOM EDITION

THERE IS NO JOY IN MICHIGAN

The mighty Wolverines have struck out

Basketball is only a game.  Only spiritual things are eternal.  Nevertheless, I was rooting for Michigan last night in the championship game. I checked the score every few minutes and watched the last few minutes because that's the only part that it's really necessary to watch if basketball isn't your game, and it isn't mine.  All that running around and then everything stops every 30 seconds for foul shots or time outs. 

All of Michigan is in deep gloom today, which matches the weather we have almost every day.  I do like it when events match the weather, don't you?

THEY'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

An article in our local paper the other day said that Obama has put $100 million planning money in his 2014 budget to "lasso a small asteroid and park it near the moon for astronauts to explore."  Further, "Last year the Keck Institute for Space Studies proposed a similar mission for NASA with a price tag of $2.6 billion.  There is no cost estimate for the space agency's version."  Well, I'll just bet there isn't.

The ideal asteroid would weigh 500 tons and be 25 feet across.  This would be done in 2019, and astronauts would use it for spacewalking exploration in 2021.

More:  "... once a suitable rock is found it would be captured with the space equivalent of a 'baggie with a drawstring.'  You bag it.  You attach the solar propulsion module to de-spin it and bring it back to where you want it."

Well.  This appeared so close to April Fool's Day that I thought surely it was a hoax.  But there is actually a Keck Institute for Space Studies and they actually are studying the feasibility of this.

Did our $17 trillion national debt disappear and I wasn't told?  Are they really not cutting back on government services and threatening to cut Social Security benefits?  Are we as a country now back on solid financial footing so we can go play in space? 

Hallelujah!

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?

A quote from Roger Ebert: "I consider myself Catholic, lock, stock and barrel, with this technical loophole: I cannot believe in God."

Yeah, that's a technical loophole all right.

Our granddaughter Natalie is majoring in elementary education at Moody Bible Institute.  One of her assignments recently was to prepare a second-grade lesson on the use of the exclamation mark, the period and the question mark.  I sent her this message in support:

"I’m excited that your lesson plan included use of the exclamation mark! Also the period! And the question mark! I hope you stressed how important it is not to overuse the exclamation mark! It should be used sparingly! Go Natalie!!!"

AIN'T THIS THE TRUTH!

NEWS FLASH!

North Koreans set sail to invade American mainland!

Plan to bypass Hawaii and go straight to Los Angeles!

Pentagon planners intend to conserve fuel and ammo by allowing North Koreans to invade Los Angeles!

State Department announces any North Koreans who survive one week in Los Angeles will be given a free trip to Disneyland and sent home!

(Thanks to Jack for this.)