YET ANOTHER SCINTILLATING CONVERSATION AT OUR HOUSE

Sam:  I just saw one of your favorite news people on TV - Hemmer.
Lois:  Hemmer?  I don't know a news person named Hemmer.
Sam:  He's on Fox News with the good looking girl [he persists in calling women girls].
Lois:  Fox News is full of good looking women.
Sam:  I think his first name is Bill.
Lois:  Bill Hemmer?  I never heard of him.  How can he be one of my favorites if I never heard of him?

Time passes as Lois thinks.

Lois:  Do you mean Krauthammer?
Sam:  No, his name is Hemmer

More thinking.

Lois:  Do you mean Britt Hume?
Sam:  No, his name is Hemmer.
Lois:  I never heard of him.

Sam goes to the computer, Googles Bill Hemmer and comes back with Bill Hemmer's biography.  He's co-host of America's Newsroom on Fox News.

Lois:  I never heard of him.  How can he be one of my favorites?
Sam: I was wrong about that part.

All the bills for my eye surgery seem to be in.  The total cost was $5,435.  When all the deductions and insurance payments and other sleight-of-hand maneuvers had been made, it cost us $284.67.  No wonder it's not hard to scare the wits out of old people by using the words "__________ (fill in the blank) wants to destroy Medicare."  It's great in the short term, but the country can't afford it forever.  I have no answers or solutions.  Are there any? 

WILD PRINCE HARRY

An article about Prince Harry's escapades in Las Vegas said that when he returns to his military base, he probably faces "an interview without coffee" from his superior officers.  That was a new expression to me so I Googled it.  It seems it's a somewhat more severe reprimand than the usual.  No frivoloties - just down to business.  It's my new favorite expression.  I wish I'd known it when my boys were little.  I could have scared them to death with the threat of "an interview without chocolate milk."

Since I don't drink coffee, an interview without coffee wouldn't bother me, but an interview without iced tea - now that would hurt!

CRIME RUNS AMOK

I seldom read the crime log in our local paper (nothing much happens here except for the time last year when a middle-aged woman shot her middle-aged boyfriend in the parking lot at Burger King), but last night I did.  Two items caught my eye.

"A deputy found a female, 17, and male, 15, sitting in a car by the Sanford Dam. The boy's mother said he snuck out of the house."

"An 85-year-old Jasper Township man reported his neighbor's goats were coming onto his property and eating his garden vegetables."

Well.  If I'd known this was such a crime-ridden city, I never would have left Philadelphia.

SAM HITS THE DOUBLE SEVEN!

And he's none too happy about it

Yesterday was Sam's birthday and he didn't seem all that pleased to be one year closer to 80.  Go figure.  And consider the alternative.

We had a good day - golf and lunch with Dee and Jerry, dinner at Applebees with the family, and over to Doris' for ice cream and cake. 

Barb made the cake and it was delicious.  It was supposed to be a carrot cake, but Richard is allergic to carrots so she used squash.  Gluten-free baked goods tend not to rise well, so she filled in the hole with raspberries.  A cake that tasted good and was good for us - what could be better!  I had two pieces.

I think Sam looks very good for 77, but then he's always gotten very good care. At least for the last 53 1/2 years.

So the bill from the anesthesiologist for my eye surgery came in the other day.  He charged $801 and an additional $80 for "patient extreme age."  (I do think they could have worded that last a bit more diplomatically, but a bit of research tells me that extreme age in medical terms is considered anyone under one year or over 70.)  Medicare knocked $705.77 off, and another $80 for "tracking only" - have no idea what that is, but it did away with the "extreme age" charge.  They paid the man $76.18, which left $19.05 for me to pay.  So for his skill at keeping me alive for an hour while under general anesthetic, he gets paid $95.23.  Think about that for a minute.  We pay our auto mechanic more than that every time he touches our cars.

Medicare has for a long time knocked down bills from doctors and hospitals, but this is a new extreme.  They took over $700 off his $880 bill.  How long before doctors and hospitals start refusing Medicare patients, if such is allowed under Obamacare?  (It would not surprise me at all if there's a clause somewhere in the 2,200 pages that forbids refusing to treat Medicare patients.  They would be fools not to have put something like that in.)

Why are people not seeing where all this is headed?  I don't know the details of Paul Ryan's plan to "fix" Medicare, but at least he has a plan.  Why can't both parties get together and work on this instead of trying to scare seniors to death?  On the other hand, the more seniors who are scared to death, the better for Medicare.  Maybe that's the ultimate plan ...

STAY TUNED:  The surgeon's bill should be interesting too

HAPPY LEFT-HANDERS DAY!

Since I am half lefthanded, I shall celebrate only until noon

Left-handedness

In honour of all left-handed,
Neglected and much abused -
A sinister bunch we are branded,
Left out and unfairly accused.

You 'Righties' are horribly righteous,
Such words as dexterity reign,
Including the ambidextrous,
Adroit and terribly vain.

You say we are gauche and south-paw,
Cack-handed and awkward to watch,
On the pitch we're a troublesome outlaw
And all that we do is a botch.

Bad news in a left-handed marriage,
In compliments, speaking on oath,
On the left is alright for a carriage,
But for 'Lefties', designers are loath.

We're ignored in the kitchen and garden,
With coffee pots, scissors and shears,
They've chosen the wrong side to sharpen,
And a chainsaw will end in tears.

Despite all the efforts to slight us,
We know that we really are deft,
Enough of this 'leftversusrightis',
As there cannot be Right without Left.

Tony Hemmings (who I suspect is British)

I've been watching shows about hoarders and pickers again, and as usual it's made me want to get rid of everything.  There was a show about a hoarding couple who had something wrong with their septic system and sewage was running right through their house.  They had so much stuff that no one could reach the plumbing.  But they didn't care.  And they didn't especially want to get rid of anything.

Then there's the pickers, people who go around buying things from people who have been accumulating things forever.  These people have houses, barns, sheds and yards full of stuff.  Sometimes they'll sell a few things, but often they can't stand to part with anything.  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE?  As my grandmother used to say, "There's no pocket in your shroud."  It all gets left behind for the family to deal with.

So - I'm going through the house yet again, getting rid of things we don't need.  Remember the bread box I was so happy to find a while back?  We don't eat much bread now so it's going.  I keep a loaf of bread in the freezer for the rare times I want a piece of toast or a sandwich.  Sam doesn't eat any bread.  So why keep the bread box? 

I really need to stop watching shows about hoarders and pickers or we won't have anything left in the house.  Which, actually, is my ultimate goal.

I play a lot of Scrabble on the 'net (Lexulous is my favorite).  I often get into games with strangers, and sometimes I find a kindred spirit and we have good chats and get to know each other.  Then there's the kind who posts this when looking for someone to play with:

MUST have played over 200 games, UK dictionary only, fast play, one game at a time, if first move isn't played within 5 mins - game deleted. NO CHAT.

Now really, who needs a game like that?  And does that sound like a warm fuzzy person? 

Anyone want to play Lexulous with me?  You get to it through Facebook. 

Time for some fun.

"Are you our mother?"

And my personal favorite -

Don't you know just how he feels?